Parenting Styles

An individual's body develop over the course of adolescence, so does one's intellectual ability.

Picture courtesy of: 

http://blog.thecenterforsalesstrategy.com/blog/bid/147616/When-in-Doubt-Ask-a-Question

Who am I?

Is this what I really want?

Where am I going?

(McMahon 2003) Adolescents spend a great deal of time pondering the above questions in their quest for an identity. From all possible and imaginable relations, by the time an individual reaches a certain age he or she should be able to make a series of narrowing selections of what they think is ideal for themselves. For instance, ever since young Simon has always been inclined to learn about animals and as he grows older he takes the initiative to find out about them and maybe foresee himself as a veterinarian and works towards his ambition. 

Most of the times, using expanded cognitive and social skills and new knowledge, adolescents keep pieces of their childhood identity while shedding others in the exchange of new beliefs, directions and develop their own preferences towards the world.

Piaget proposes two labels that illustrate the process of adjustment that children experience.:
1. Assimilation: When learning or adjusting happens by integrating occurrences or
                                experiences.
2. Accommodation: By bringing together the variations in the occurrences or experiences.

Therefore, it could be said that an adolescent's identity is developed through experimentation; they explore different roles and 'try on' new personalities, hoping to find what is fits and where they belong. This is a normal developmental stage and in order to shape a good character it is crucially important to have assistance from people whom have experiences like parents and elder siblings to prevent the child from adapting undesirable behaviour.

Psychologists classically describe overall ways of parenting in terms of parenting styles. The most commonly used typology of normal parenting is based on work by Diana Baumrind. She distinguished between Authoritative, Authoritiarian, Permissive and Uninvolved parenting.

Not all parents possess similar approaches to parenting. Parenting style may vary from one parent to another. Parenting styles are based on two dimensions:

1. Acceptance/responsiveness (warmth/sensitivity): Parents are always supportive,
   shower their children with love and tenderness, and are understanding and responsive
   towards what their children require.

2. Demandingness/control (permissiveness/restrictiveness): Parents lay down the
    rules for children to follow and ensure that they comply with their parents’ wishes.

The four main types of parenting styles will be discussed in depth:
1. Authoritative parenting style;

2. Authoritarian parenting style;

3. Permissive parenting style;

4. Uninvolved parenting style.

Authoritative

High demandingness and high acceptance

Strict, consistent, and loving, but their values and beliefs about parenting and children are markedly different. Authoritative parents are issue-oriented and pragmatic, rather than motivated by an external, absolute standard. They tend to adjust their expectations to the needs of the child. They listen to children's arguments, although they may not change their minds. They persuade and explain, as well as punish. Most importantly, they try to balance the responsibility of the child to conform to the needs and demands of others with the rights of the child to be respected and have their own needs met. In short, such parents are more democratic and provide reasons for whatever rules and regulations they enforce.

Why do some parents use this approach?

Often parents exercising this style were raised in the same manner and fully aware of its positive effect. They are usually responsible, respectful and caring individuals inspired to create the same secure and positive family environment.

In contrast, parents themselves being raised in an authoritarian style, resenting a harsh approach has prompted them to use this more balanced and lenient style of parenting for their own children.

Effects:

1. Children tend to be very social.
2. Good at developing positive relationships.
3. Do very well in school and academic testing.
4. Children are emotionally stable.
5. Alcohol & illicit drug use is lower than with other parenting styles.

Authoritarian

High demandingness and low acceptance

Authoritarian parents believe that children are, by nature, strong-willed and self-indulgent. They value obedience to higher authority as a virtue unto itself. Parents demonstrate low level of warmth and affection. They remain distant from their children. The concept of “Just do it because I said so” is adopted.

Why do some parents use this approach?

If you observe different families you will notice there are many parents today that still practice this type of parenting technique, often dictated by nationality, cultural or ethnic backgrounds.

Others were raised themselves by authoritarian parents and simply model their style without considering alternative approaches.

There are also those parents that feel ruling with an iron fist is the best way to keep their children in line and under control at all times.

Effects:

1. Children rarely learn to think on their own.

2. They feel pressured to conform.

3. They often become socially withdrawn.

4. May be very angry, resentful and frustrated.

5. Can find it hard to deal with their anger.

6. May develop a tendency to act out.

7. Develop a fear of failure (due to pressure).

8. Often have a low self-esteem.

9. Develop a resentment of authority.

Permissive

Low expectation and high acceptance

Permissive parenting is sometimes known as indulgent parenting. Parents who exhibit this style make relatively few demands upon their children. Because these parents have low expectations for self-control and maturity, they rarely discipline their children. According to Baumrind, permissive parents are more responsive than they are demanding.

Why do some parents use this approach?

Some parents themselves, were raised by authoritarian parents that were overly controlling and take extremely opposing measures in raising their own children.

Some just have an exceptionally laid back attitude and take a haphazard approach to parenting. Structure is not high on their list of importance. They feel any form of discipline or laying down rules and restrictions will only upset the apple cart, so why bother, let them do as they please.

Others feel they want to be more like a friend than a parent and think parental controls and discipline measures will hinder that relationship.

Effects: 

1. Tend to develop a lack of self-discipline.

2. Often become self-centred and demanding.

3. Underage drinking due to lack of rules.

4. Tend to be aggressive and act out.

Uninvolved

Low demandingness and low acceptance

Children who are brought up in this type of family may turn out to be antisocial, lack self-regulation and self-esteem, and remain immature. This type of parents do not structure, organise, discipline, attend to, communicate, or supervise their children in any way. They demonstrate low demandingness and acceptance. They may go to the extend of rejecting or neglecting the children altogether. The child seems to have all the freedom to do as he/she pleases.

Why do some parents use this approach?

As sad as it is, there are many parents uninvolved in their children's lives. Statistics show that region, cultural, education and socioeconomic status often play a role in this parenting style. Some cases are hereditary, parents, themselves raised in a negative environment with no expression of love, guidance, support, or positive communication are prone to modelling this parenting style.

Often you will see this style used unintentionally by materialistic parents so busy with their own lives, work or business, they just don't realize their lack of involvement in their child's life until it is too late. 

Others, being immersed in their own negative lifestyle, often due to drug or alcohol addiction have little competence or desire to take responsibility for raising their children.

Effects:

1. Become emotionally withdrawn from social situations.

2. Develop a sense of loneliness.

3. Show patterns of truancy in school.

4. Patterns of delinquency during adolescence.

5. Prone to develop fear, stress and anxiety disorders.

6. Develop a low self-esteem.

7. Lack of self-control.

8. High chance of addiction to drugs and alcohol.

9. Often demonstrate defiance to authority figures such as, parents, teachers and other adult.

 

Tutor and Tutorial Support. 2015. Wawasan Open University Registry. http://www.wou.edu.my/study_lstutor.aspx (assessed July 27, 2015).

McMahon. T. 2003. Teen Tips.  United States of America. 

Walton. 2012.  The Positive Parenting Centre. Types of Parenting Styles.http://www.the-positive-parenting-centre.com/types_of_parenting_styles.html(assessed July 27, 2015).